SEX, Health and Wealth are the three major aspects that determine one’s happy and successful life.
While we are open to the other two aspects of life, SEX is still an obnoxious word among most of the Indians. It is treated as secret as sacred in the Indian society.
Indian culture and social taboos prevent open expression of sex with opposite gender let alone the homos.
In the absence of proper sex education, Indian children acquire sexual knowledge through unholy ways and means.
People hardly discuss sex with anyone openly and they bury their dis-satisfaction only to remain depressed.
Sex is present in all the creatures under the sun and it is a God given natural instinct to every living being for progeny.
Lot of family dysfunctions do happen because of the sexual dysfunction among couples which they are not able to either identify for the cause of their day-to-day problems or are trying to hide it willingly.
Being a psychologist doing counselling for sexual dysfunction, I find SEX is one of the few main causes for difference of opinion and hatred among couples.
IMPORTANT OF SEX IN LIFE
PLAUSIBLE REASONS FOR SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS
- No proper awareness and understanding about sex – moreover the idea the other partner is having about sexual life is the prime cause for dysfunction.
- The world famous Sex Manual was written by an Indian – Vatsayana (who’s a bachelor**) and still we can see a lot of sculptures in our temples (Ellora Cave Temple) depicting sexual postures. Monotony in postures cause disinterest.
- Sex is not just an enjoyment but it is a tactical exercise to tame our mind and body involving all the five senses bringing a sense of togetherness between the couple. No Consensus between partners before commencement of sexual intercourse.
- Sexual intercourse with absolute love (not passion) is a highly refreshing and motivating factor as sex gives immense mental pleasure and satisfaction (Napoleon Hill in his book Law of Success does mention this). Craving to have sex causes long time damage at mind level.
- Mind and body are interconnected and in sex both mind & body are gratified. Sex without love but passion is a curse. When any of the partners don’t feel like having sex, the other get depressed.
- Periodical sex keep the couple bound together for quite a long time and those who have intercourse at least twice a month live happily. Sometimes, partners punish each other with non co-operation in sex.
- Sickness to either of the partners is another important cause for dysfunction. When the sick partner does not appreciate the feeling of the other, the problem swells alarmingly.
- Separation due to family disputes, especially caused by elders out of sheer ego. Both the partners are famished for sex life with the result the bold one opts for illegal sex.
- Small house – Big family – no ideal environment for sex. In Indian families (especially the joint family), lack of privacy is another reason for dysfunction.
- Male chauvinism is another major cause. The feelings and emotions of the female partner is neglected altogether and she is bullied mercilessly. This is another major cause for dysfunction.
EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR & SEXUAL PERVERSION.
The prime cause for this is sexual dysfunction. Sex being the natural animalistic urge in a human being, sexual denial or dissatisfaction pushes a human being towards discreet / illegal / perverted sexual practices.
When a person is perturbed with suppressed sexual feelings for a prolonged period, he/she is prone to sexual crime at the slightest provocation. When we analyse the reason(s) behind rape and molestation (not necessarily committed by males but in many cases women also do this which do not come to light for obvious reasons).
Unlike women in West and other parts of the world, Indian women lose interest in sexual intercourse after giving birth to children and they think there is no need to have sex as children have grown big. While men do have sexual feeling and sense of craving for intercourse, they are deprived of the pleasure of having sex with their consort due to this single reason. That’s why they indulge in sex perversion (especially with girl children and sometimes with young boys).
I have dealt with a lot of cases similar to the above in my counselling experience. The husband may look young, while the wife would look pretty old. This would create a doubt in the mind of the wife about the activities of her husband.
News on extramarital affairs related murders and persons running away from home leaving the husband or wife and children pathetically are on the rise. Whereas the fact is that a lot of cases still remain unnoticed and/unreported.
This problem is not new – This has been among human beings for ages. Thiruvalluvar, author of famous THIRUKURAL## also allocated a separate Chapter for Sex and related topics.
PROSTITUTION & PORN SITES IN SEXUAL GRATIFICATION
Sexual dissatisfaction is really killing a lot of people. Sex being the natural basic animalistic instinct, it can never be controlled, suppressed and depressed. Those who control forcibly would burst into criminal activities such as molesting a lady or even rapping.
Porn sites come as a solace to these people who are deprived of the pleasure of having sex with the partner.
These sites are seen most by males who are in the wrong side of 50s and who are denied sexual connections.
People who are affected by diabetes and other similar diseases which prevent erection of pennis and other related causes are also visiting these sites.
Sexual gratification, when unattended and ignored would end up in numerous mental illness.
Indian Government imposed a ban on porn sites recently which is to be reconsidered, keeping in mind those who are deprived of sexual pleasure at home.
There is good and bad in everything and anything. One has to be wise enough to separate the good in anything and use according to one’s requirements and needs. Prostitution and Porn sites are also not an exemption to this logic.
Hence one should be very careful in ensuring excellent sexaual gratification in life through fair means or they should know the technique to neutralize this basic animalistic instinct, lest the whole life may become gloom@@
Should you require more clarifications on any specific problem? Make use of the contact form herein. You will get reply free of cost from me. Confidentiality assured.